If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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