He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
im holly from the hills drunk
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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