I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
4 words: hood of his car
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
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If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
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I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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