after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
