Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
