This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
