Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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