And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Randomize
