franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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