You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
