I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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