he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
