that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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