Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
