i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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