Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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