We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
