I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
