i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
