Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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