We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
