We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
