coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
