at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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