bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
