Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
