oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
