He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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