saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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