I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
