I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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