This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
