Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He felt like a one man threesome
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
