You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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