When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
