My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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