Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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