I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
