pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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