Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
