Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
