i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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