please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
