Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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