THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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