Do you still have your period?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I want her autograph on my taint
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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