shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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