Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
