i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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