The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
