I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
