yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
