with your own penis?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
is wine microwaveable?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
