I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
