just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
When are your genitals available?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
