Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize